Day #34
Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life
Sunday, July 13, 2025 12:20pm
Dear Reader,
I feel like today’s theme is knowingness. It’s intuition and what it feels like and how it manifests in the body. I have been doing some study on the chakra system’s of the body and comparing them to my understanding of my own system. The body is such an amazing tool and I feel that, learning to live an intuitive life is getting intuned with your vessel. Understanding that the body is always speaking to us, acting as an antennae. It heal’s. It grow’s. It destroy’s. The human body is life, itself. What a blessing it is to have a body.
I am now thirteen days out from my Eyelash Extension Introductory Workshop and I am beginning to move into ceremony. Wanting to prepare and plan, both energetically and physically. Tuning in more to my intention and how I want this to go and perhaps, even taking a peak into how it will move forward. I feel so excited about this workshop coming up and, there’s so many other thing’s that are coming up that will be awesome experiences as well, too. There’s just so much to be thankful for. So much to relax into. So much to learn.
This morning, as I was doing my morning meditation and reading’s, I realized that an old cycle has definitely had a hold on me. I’ve wrote about it before, but to understand how much I have held myself back, all over again, can be quite annoying. lol It’s like I keep getting the same message, but I will say this, today, the message felt alot lighter. It was an indication of repeated cycles, but also that there only need’s to be a little bit of a tweak. It isn’t so deeply seated anymore. It is moving through and becoming less heavy. It’s sort of how grief feel’s less over time or, how subtle negative thoughts become after you begin healing from it. It’s still there, just not so emotionally driven. Acting as sort of a scar. The less you touch it and allow it to heal, the more likely it won’t leave a heavier mark.
This morning, I also found out that my daughter got invited into a singing group, which you have to qualify for. Her teacher believe’s that she is one of the best student’s he’s had and want’s her to be in music production’s and recital’s. He see’s a promising future for her in singing. She loves to sing. Especially musical theater type of singing. And yes, she is so good at it. She continues to follow her heart on it, too. She asked if she could do voice lesson’s and I said, yes, but I told her that she needed to do the research. Once she found what she wanted, she let me know and I completed the rest. Now, it’s off to the races with her. She’s been doing this for almost a month now and love’s it and is impressing so many other’s. I love that she is following her heart and I love that I get to be here for it.
My relationship with my own mother was quite different. My mom didn’t notice what brought me to life, even though she would watch me sing and dance all the time. She would often say, you know, there are many singer’s out there. Letting me know, that my voice didn’t stand out enough for me to follow my passion. I wish she was a mom like me and, I think that’s why I am the way I am with my daughter. I notice her passion’s and I make her aware of her own heart and encourage her to follow it. My mom only got behind academically driven thing’s without pushing against it. Even sports, she didn’t always agree with. At that point, I think was always just kind of doing whatever I felt like doing to prove to her that I could. Maybe there was a bit of my curiosity there, but I think alot of it was escapism. Not wanting to be in the house with her. It was hard for me to be around a critical, OCD Mom. And it’s this pain, that keeps me from following or even KNOWING what my passion feel’s like.
I am getting better at it though. And, I understand why my mom was like that. She wasn’t allowed to follow her passion’s and heart, either. So, it’s just been generation’s of suppression. I would have been a statistic within that cycle, but I am choosing not to be. I am choosing to follow my heart. I just need to figure out the true essence of that, first. I am still developing my relationship with me and I feel like, it may be a forever thing. I will always be growing, shifting, changing and evolving and I will always, need to learn more about myself on deeper levels. And, it’s okay. I think that’s just what it means to live a fulfilling life. You need to know who you are in order to follow that.
It seem’s I keep coming back around to the relationship you have with yourself. It seem’s to be the one relationship that must always be consciously and intentionally, tended to. If you pray for a fulfilled life, you need to know everything that fill’s your cup. You need to know whether or not your decision’s and desire’s are fueled by fear or love. And, in a world with so much information, learning your true frequency takes experience. It take’s exposing yourself to different experiences that help you find clarification on what you want and what you don’t like. It take’s conscious reflection. Many times, we let old conditioning’s run our life and, other’s make decision’s for us. We believe we are sovereign, but really, we have just let other’s influence our decision’s. Over time, it create’s resentment and unfulfilled dream’s. And people then, accumulate thing’s and surround themselves with superficial relationship’s to fulfill a void that can only be filled through healing the relationship they have with themselves. To discern between what is truly you and what belong’s to someone else takes unconditional love for yourself and not being afraid to have as many experiences as you can to find clarification.
Continue to choose you. Not with selfish intent, but with the faith that, when you tend to the relationship you have with yourself, the better the relationship’s around you, improve.
Love Always,
Ariel