Day #25 Reflection

Friday, July 4, 2025 7:15pm

Dear Reader,

I am feeling very human tonight. I am finding myself stuck in trains of thought that don’t serve me. Thought’s of not being a good enough Mom. That I should be more present in my daughter’s life. Even though I do not believe that is true, I am really recognizing the pain that still exist’s within me. A mother’s pain. If I take any role in my life seriously, it is definitely the role as a mother. My daughter is growing up in two very different environment’s and sometimes, I find myself feeling incredibly guilty about that. I tend to make up all these stories in my head about how she must feel frustrated or unhappy about her situation. Then, I assign all of that blame to me. I guess that’s how I know that being a mom is so important to me because of the extent to which my insecurity goes.

I have done so much work to do the necessary inner work, so I could show up as my best self when I’m with my daughter. And honestly, I think I’ve done a great job. I believe her and I have this really wonderful relationship. She’s very open and honest with me. We play together and laugh together. We have a ton of fun together. And yet, when I am not with her, I feel lost. Especially, if I catch the thought and sit on it for awhile. It mean’s alot to me though, you know? And I understand that this is just the way things have turned out. I also know, that we aren’t the only family that separated. And that, there are many children who have done fine and are still, doing fine. I think most of me just misses her when we’re not together. And maybe, it is this feeling that will allow me to clarify who I want to be moving forward and what I want to do. I already have her presence incorporated into the dream’s that I have been blogging about. So, like I promised, I am going to continue cultivating that energy and allowing the universe to bring me more experiences that feel just like that. Acknowledging it. Appreciating it. Riding the momentum of it. I know that what I am feeling and seeing, is going to manifest.

There is power in prayer. There is power in intention and clarity. Know what you want so deeply and clearly, that the universe has no choice, but to deliver you what you’re asking for. Do not allow your insecurities to begin directing the flow of your creation. Do not allow yourself to act from a state of insecurity. Even though, there will be moment’s that you find yourself coming up against echoes of the past, know that you are strong enough to move past them. To bless them for what they are, and move through them, so that you can get to the point of belief in your new vision. Even though life may not look like what you want right now, that doesn’t mean it’s not on its way to you. Continue believing. Continue believing in yourself.

Till the morning.

Love Always,

Ariel