Day #5

Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life

June 14, 2025 6:46am

Dear Reader,

Oddly enough, this is the same card I pulled last night, right before I wrote Day #4’s reflection. So, the universe is clearly wanting to let me know to keep going. I guess in a sense, the deeper I get into these 90 day’s, the more fear I begin to feel. And maybe, fear is an exaggerated word. It’s more like, anxious. Part’s of me feel like, well no, most of me feels like my life is going to look and feel completely different in 90 day's. I feel like, I may just do something crazy, like give up on all the things I’ve been working on and take a completely different path. And I think that’s what brings up anxiety within me as I vulnerably write about this journey. I am realizing that I am going to change, shift and transform and I feel almost ashamed and guilty about it. I am doing it publicly, too. I literally, am writing about it every single day. There is zero consistency and I know I only care, because my human self care’s about what other people think about me.

I will tell you what I am unashamed of admitting, though. I love doing this. I love intuitively writing. I love pulling card’s and sharing my reflection on them. I love that I have started making video’s on my Youtube again. These are thing’s I will always make room for every single day. No matter what and, no matter where I am. Maybe because it’s easy, too. I literally have to go no where to do all of this, but I also know, that I feel so connected to God and, life feel’s so expansive when I connect and write and do reading’s. I have been observing my thought’s about judgment. If most of my friend’s knew I was doing this, they’d probably create a separate text thread and talk about how I’m losing it. It make’s me giggle a little inside, but I also know, that it would hurt me. And I ALSO know, that none of it matter’s unless I allow it to matter. I have been going back to the thought that life is so expansive and there are literally, endless possibilities. To be concerned about the judgment of anyone is literally, a waste of your opportunity to be here. When I am on my death bed, I don’t ever want to think that I cared too much about being judged. And although, I have to watch my own fearful thoughts and ensure I don’t act on them, it honestly, get’s easier and easier every day.

You know what’s been allowing me to lean more and more towards expansiveness and, less toward’s playing small? I’ve been listening to podcast’s in which physicists talk about all the research they’ve been doing in the world. What they’ve been finding out about the universe. It remind’s me that all this small town, small island shit, is really very small in comparison to the wonder’s of the world and all the thing’s they’re finding out. Human’s make much too much of everything. I am so thankful there’s such thing as podcast’s and youtube. It helps me maintain my broader perspective on life. My plan is to continue reminding myself of the expansiveness of the world and, the universe. My plan is to continue allowing myself to be 100% held in the arms of my creator and, to continue stepping out boldly into the world with complete honesty and trust. I am going to choose to let go of my crutches and enjoy my life, without guilt and shame. I feel that is the only way I can truly follow through with this journey. I have to let go and free fall into my life in a way I never have before. That’s what it mean’s to live intuitively.

I look forward to sharing tonight’s reflection with you.

Love Always,

Ariel