Day #5 Reflection
June 14, 2025 8:49pm
Dear Reader,
Today, I realized two things -
I identify with the common experience of truth being conveyed, and being crucified for it.
I became more familiar with the idea of shape shiting and why, that card, was so unclear to me in the beginning.
Recently, I had a friend express a truth that she observed, and she got nailed to the cross for it. I do acknowledge that the way in which she expressed the truth was not ideal, but it carried truth nonetheless. And people, did not like it. They did not just dislike the truth, they disliked the messenger of the truth, even more. So, it literally became a witch hunt.
I found myself thinking about it alot, realizing just how ugly human’s can be sometimes. It was also a very large example of momentum. How negativity build’s and carries. It can be such a strong energy. I didn’t find myself needing to pick a side, either. It was just interesting to me, how strongly I started to feel about it. People can really suck. They can be sensitive and reactive, forgetting, that they too, have said some shitty thing’s. Most likely, to the people they say they love the most. They have probably conveyed a truth that they got crucified for, too. They probably carry demon’s that they wouldn’t tell a soul about. All of a sudden, people become saint’s, when they can point their finger’s at the demon’s of others. At the end of the day, we’re all saint’s and sinner’s.
I find that, people will never truly understand other’s, until they do the sacred work of understanding themselves. They will never truly have compassion for other’s, until they shine light’s in their own dark spaces. No one here is perfect, but we are all deserving of love. Period. I believe that with my whole heart. Love always wins.
Just based on how strongly I found myself feeling about this whole situation, that wasn’t even happening to me, I started to internally ask myself question’s. I wanted to know why this was resonating with me in such a strong way. And I realized, it’s because I know how different I am. I am a card pulling, magic believing, Telepathy Tapes watching, Filipina who grew up in Hawai’i. A place where culture and religion play large roles. If you step outside of either structure, you’re misunderstood and rejected. And since I was a little girl, all I wanted to do was fit into this place. Even if it meant, not being my true self. And my true self, has always been curious about the unknown. I have always been drawn to the things that cannot be seen, but are deeply felt. I am weird and I have strong belief’s in accountability. I think everyone should be held accountable for their action’s and reaction’s, but also, to have compassion for their own mistakes AND the mistakes of other’s.
I found myself relating to her experience. I want to be able to be whoever the fuck I want to be, say whatever I want to say, and go wherever I want to go AND, not be crucified, bullied or judged for it. But, as I write this I realize something freeing. The simple truth is, I CAN do all those things already. I am doing all those thing’s already. No one will stop me, unless I let them. And life can really be as simple as that. No one hold’s my freedom to express in their hands. Period.
I realized, today, that I have released the part of me that needed approval to do things. The part of me that needed to justify why I have a certain set of beliefs. The part of me that just wanted to be accepted into the tribe. I love that part of me, but now, I can integrate that pain into something that align’s me, even stronger with my authentic self.
On a more light-hearted note, I also received a relative download about the shape shifting card I pulled the other night. I understand it on a level that ease my worries about needing to be able to keep up with all of the things I’ve set into motion. I am working on so many different things in my life. I am creating my lash brand. I am holding lash workshop’s and certification classes, with my future plan’s aligning with a lash studio and training, and possibly, even an esthetic’s academy. I have started diving deeper into skin care, so I am doing facial’s, studying, experimenting and aiming to come up with a unique skincare program for my client’s. I have boutique design’s in the work’s, with prototypes that are about to be completed. I started writing this blog and, have a Youtube Station in which I post on daily.I also have another idea, that I am being drawn to really bringing to life in a fun and adventurous way. I have so much going on and I feel the energy surrounding each seed I’ve planted, and sometimes, I feel like how tf am I going to keep up with all of this? But when I try to eliminate, I can’t. I love doing all of them. Which bring’s me to the subject of this whole entire series - intuition. To intuitively live, means to be able to water every seed I’ve planted through tuning in and asking, “How can I intentionally water this seed today?” It is paying attention to what comes up throughout the day and what is being offered. It is acting, when I get the intuitive hit to act. It is leaving room for possibility and expanding my worldview. More importantly, it is trusting, that no matter what, everything is always being taken cared of, in perfect timing. My job is to stay present,open, receiving, and willing to act. I am shape shifting to become what each seed needs me to be. I am shape shifting in every role, yet anchored in my truth of love, support, kindness and possibility.
In other words, in order to keep up with my life adventure, I have to tune into my intuition.
As you can see, it was quite a day of revelation’s. It feel’s good to feel more clear about my journey.
Till the morning.
Love Always,
Ariel