Day #32

Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life

Friday, July 11, 2025 11:14am

Dear Reader,

Today, I feel I am pretty damn confident about what my most authentic frequency feel’s like. The strangest thing is, I found her, because I realized how many damn times I’ve held her back. She is the voice I have quieted since I was a child. Every single time I wanted to follow my intuition and inspiration’s, but my mother told me no. Every single time, I ended up following her and getting exactly what I had wanted. That is the voice that has become quieter as I got older. She got covered in trauma and experiences that validated deep insecurities and fears. These thing’s didn’t belong to me before, they were just echoes of past lives that needed a paritcular environment to grow.

By society’s standard, I am a natural rebel. It is not that I want to do the opposite of other’s. I want to do what I want to do. I want to weave what I want to weave and integrate what I want to integrate. I recognize energies expressed differently in human’s and, in experiences. I understand the root causes. That is how I empathize.

I was getting so many intuitive clues yesterday. I kept asking, “What does the universe continue to show me?” It keeps showing me what’s true to my heart, in these small moment’s of inspiration. With small moment’s of conversation with other’s. I realize over the past week, I have shut everything down, only to understand I was shutting my true self down. I don’t trust her because in society’s eyes, she is chaotic. She has so many different working part’s. I was beginning to lean toward’s acceptability and wanting to have a message to spread that is easy for other’s to swallow.

Today, I realize that is not me. I am so much more light-hearted than that. I am weird and strange in the eyes of many. Especially, if they actually know me. And yet, I am so incredibly loved, as well. I am respected for my wisdom. I wanted to shut myself off from my dreams because I felt I couldn’t keep up with her. Today, I took another chance to follow my heart. I thought, “What if this is the actual energy of me?” “What if I am in a cycle that isn’t serving my highest self and, I don’t even know it?” Turns out, I was right. And yet, I need this moment to learn something important about myself. I needed this moment to find even more clarity on who I am and what I sound like. What I feel like. Who I truly am. I don’t belong to any group or, identify with any group. I never have. I just thought I needed to belong to some group in order to not feel lonely. But you know what? It feel’s lonely following other people’s directions.

So today, as crazy as it seems, I am going to pick up the pieces I’ve let go and try again. I am going to keep getting back on the train. I know that when I don’t feel like this, I am not in alignment with me and, to rest. This energy of me has been misdirected and suppressed within me for so long, I still have yet to learn how to yield it. But I am. I am going to figure this out. I am not coming back around to the same thing, with the same energy. I am coming back around with wisdom and experience. With more intelligence. I know how to handle this now.

So, with that said, I want to offer this, keep doing the work of figuring out who you truly are. You know how you can tell? By what is manifesting. By what is being reflected back at you in the universe. Take note of the emotional state you are in when you offer up a prayer that is answered almost immediately. That is your manifesting state. Try not to get lost in understanding the why’s. Just have faith in the fact that whatever you are doing is work. It is logical to continue doing what works. Ask with your heart and the mind will show you how to do it. It’s learning to work in unison with the deepest desires and receptivity of your heart and the intelligent tool of your mind.

Remember, you do not have to be accepted by other’s in order to be loved. You already are. You are loved deeply by the Universe, by God, by the highest version of yourself, by your ancestor’s, by your spirit guides. All of the energies of the universe come to meet you and will answer all of your request’s if you just let them in. You got this. Don’t give up.

Love Always,

Ariel