Day #37
Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive
Dear Reader,
I feel today was a day of dropping the old paradigm of force. I have been recognizing the little thing’s that I do to force gap’s to close. Wanting the unknown to be knowable through controlling the experience. I have done that my entire life. I was so uncomfortable not knowing. I did not know how to handle that type of big energy. I guess for me, it felt big. It felt unpredictable and in a sense, unpredictability is scary.
Surrendering has been the whole point of this series. To live an intuitive life is really a surrendering of all the thing’s that aren’t you. And to understand what isn’t you, takes time. It takes intentional reflection and open heart to complete honesty. It feel’s raw and vulnerable. But, it is necessary, if your want to live a life that is truly you.
Some spaces in my lash workshop opened up. Some people had to cancel and, I had the opportunity to experience this on-going cycle of force all over again. I found myself wanting to take all these action step’s to get these spaces filled. Later on in the day, I just felt myself relax into the faith that, whoever showed up, is supposed to be there. My job is to prepare, intend and set the energy and environment of my workshop. Whoever feel’s compelled into this space, will come. And, intuitively, I trust that. My survival mechanism’s didn’t, however. I took small action step’s to fill the spaces, but I immediately realized what I was doing and I stopped. I’m choosing to move in faith. Choosing to trust my purpose and to know, that everything will work out exactly as it is supposed to.
I believe in my offering. I believe in what I’m creating. I believe what I am creating hold’s transformational energy and whoever walk’s through the threshold will welcome that into their life. I believe my workshop is magnetic and will attract whoever is ready to hear the message and is ready to open themselves up to the opportunity.
I also begin to understand the true power behind setting the example. I understand how challenging it can be, too. To move, despite the fact that no one else is doing the same thing around you. That you have different belief system’s and understanding’s and, are choosing to move strictly based on your own self-trust. I still feel like, sometimes, I’m tip toeing, but at the very least, I am moving. I recognize the confidence I move with now. It grow’s. Yet, I still recognize the old program’s and I get the opportunity to change them.
I continue to believe that working on yourself, is the most unconditionally loving thing you can do for the people you love. When you set the example of possibility, you give them permission to seek the same. It become’s my driving purpose, when I find myself repeating old cycle’s or caught up in old program’s. I remind myself, that this isn’t just about me, it is about the people I love. When I change, I encourage them to do the same. When I begin to tell myself a different story, I inspire them to re-write their own. The most loving thing you can do for others, is love yourself.
I am choosing to let go of shame and guilt about not being where I want to be. I am choosing to let go of feeling like I have to have it all together. Most especially, in experiences that are new to me. In it’s place, I offer honesty and compassion. I have given myself the opportunity to be honest with with other’s about what I am not, so that they can make informed decision’s on whether or not they want to assist me. And that, in and of itself was a powerful move for me. I realized, that to be honest in my growing, mean’s I don’t have to carry something that isn’t real. It mean’s I don’t have to hold the weight of pretending I am something, I am not. There is no need to carry that type of weight. We are all human. We all get to experience the process and journey of life and being new to something.
I truly pray you give yourself the grace of allowing yourself to change and grow. Staying the same wasn’t meant for anyone who wants to feel vital and alive in their life. Let experience’s teach you. Let it help you clarify want you want. Let it guide you into experience that teach you more about who you truly are. This is a place of learning and growing. There is no reason to be at odd’s with yourself.
Love Always,
Ariel