Day #85

Tuesday, September 2, 2025 8:10pm

Dear Reader,

As day #85 comes to an end, I am realizing that the most valuable lesson I have learned in this 90 day series, is learning who I truly am. All this intentional reflection, made me realize who I am underneath survival thought pattern’s and actions. It made me realize who I truly want to be, how I want to feel and the type of life I actually want to live. It made me come up against the same question’s over and over and each time, I have answered them differently. As I unraveled, the layer’s began to show themselves and my answer would change each time. I would integrate new found understanding’s and realize my own truth’s. It has been one hell of a journey. A cyclical journey that brought me up against myself in so many ways. Giving me the chance to choose different and build momentum in the direction of the life I actually want to live.

In all of that self-work, I have decided that it’s not that deep. I do not need to save anyone. I am not responsible for other people’s lives or decision’s. I have realized that I want to live a physical life, filled with experiences. I decided I no longer just wanted to think about thing’s in my head and translate them into words. I decided I actually want to live. I want to engage my senses and experience what it mean’s to be an actual human. In so many ways, I have been given the opportunity to experience the darker aspects of humanity. Grief, loss, abuse, betrayal. I reflect on it now and I realize that I created mucho f that with my own negative thought pattern’s and the thing is, I could blame my parent’s for setting that example or, I could just decide I don’t want that for myself. Change doesn’t need to be hard. It just needs to be clear. And the more clear you are, the more intentional the action steps will be. And honestly, I’m ready for this. I am ready to live in the world in a way I never have before. Unafraid to make mistakes. Taking chances and risk’s that could grow and evolve me in the most magnificent ways. Deciding to do only the thing’s that make me feel good and bring out the best in me.

With that, I decided that I am going to really focus on appreciation. I am going to stop looking at my past and trying to understand it. I am going to stop negative thought pattern’s before they pick up momentum and instead, I am going to choose to look at the thing’s that make me happy. The thing’s that make me feel joy, unconditional love and appreciation. I have been undisciplined in my thinking and got caught up in negative momentum way too often. So from this post forward, I am going to reflect on aspects of my life that I find so much appreciation for. Even the challenging stuff. I am going to ask for every experience to show me its beauty. Because I believe it exist’s in all things. You just have to decide that, that’s what you’re going to look at and amplify.

Today, I went back to the ocean and swam. The water was surprisingly warm and so incredibly clear. The sun was so bright, that you could see the sandy bottom. This was probably the first time I had allowed myself to stay in the water for a long time. I swam back and forth from the shore to the end of the reef, stopping to tread water or float on my back. Occassionally, I would dive to the bottom and swim along the sand, touching the bottom with my hands, practicing slowing my breathing to allow for more fluidity. It felt amazing and I literally felt like I was being embraced by the ocean water today. It took me awhile to relax into what I was doing. I am usually so anxious and uptight about what I need to do next or what I haven’t gotten to. Lately, I haven’t been in survival mode and when I catch myself moving in that direction, I quickly re-direct. I decided I don’t want that because that’s what’s making me miss out on my own life. After awhile, I couldn’t picture myself leaving. I kept swimming and enjoying the fluidity and movement of the ocean and I acknowledged how being in the ocean has always been second nature to me. Intuitively, I can feel how the ocean is moving at any moment. I know when to move and when to let the water carry me. The water, brings me closer to my intuitive self and that’s perhaps why I feel so amazing within it. As I was swimming, I started to think about the life I wanted to create. The business I want to build. The places I want to go. The thing’s I want to experience. Today’s ocean therapy was a silent prayer filled with powerful energy. It was the first time in which I could confidently see and feel what my future is about to look like. And you know what? It looks amazing. And I am excited to truly align with it.

From this, my entire day just flowed with fun, freedom and laughter. I noticed all the thing’s that bring me joy on all ends of the spectrum. I didn’t let myself worry about anything. I didn’t let myself get carried down any river of negative momentum. I decided I was going to have faith that no matter what came up, it was all going to be in alignment with fun, joy and happiness. The food I had today was great. I walked around the future home of my business and was able to see and feel possibility. It was incredible. I got to experience myself, as my best self today and I am understanding how to maintain and sustain this energy more often, than not. I believe in my ability to get better and that the only way to get better is to put in the reps. So, I am going to keep showing up every day with an appreciative and loving heart. And I realize, that although a majority of people are drawn toward’s negativity, I am still going to write these blog posts. Because they’re not about anyone else, but myself. They’re not for anyone else, but myself. I just so happen to put it here, where other’s can choose to engage with it as well.

I believe in the power of putting good things in the world. Even if it’s just word’s that you write. Or, silent thought’s that you think. I believe all of that matter’s. Perhaps, in way’s we may never understand. And honestly, why wouldn’t you choose to focus on the good? There are so many truth’s that exist in the world and so, would it hurt to focus more on the positive truth’s? Would it be that challenging to choose the thing’s that inspire and bring out the best in other’s? Everyone now has an opinion on how other’s should live, what they should do, where they should go, what they should believe and while, many people have very valid and valuable points, the only way to really know for yourself, is to go out there and have as many experiences as you can. Allow yourself to explore your curiosities and be drawn to all the thing’s that make you feel connected to life. Engage your senses and embrace what it mean’s to live physical, fulfilling life. Being human is a spiritual experience. Allow yourself to have that.

Till tomorrow.

Love Always,

Ariel