Day #2 Reflection

June 11, 2025 6:19pm

Dear Reader,

This morning’s card pull was a heart felt one. It definitely came on the heel’s of an interesting download I had last night. While I was falling asleep, a close-up vision of a little girl’s face popped into my head. I woke up with the realization that, that little girl’s face was my own. It came along with an incredible feeling of love and adoration. And, for some reason, I knew it was a message from my mom. It was if she was sending me an experience. An experience she had with me as a child. The memory was also filled with emotion. It was as if I was looking at my younger self, through her eyes, and feeling what she was feeling in that moment. There was such a deep sense of love. Like I was pereceiving myself through her eyes.

This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. Some people may say that I was just dreaming, but I intuitively know that I wasn’t. I also intuitively knew, immediately, that it was from my mom. I cannot even find the words to explain this in a more fluid way, and I won’t bother trying to justify it either. That is the thing I am realizing about intuition. It is a knowing. It is something that you don’t need to explain to make it feel or sound right. I also knew, that whatever I was receiving in that moment, wasn’t mine. It felt almost as if, it was being given. And I haven’t really thought of it till now, but she literally, transmitted a gift. She was looking at me, in a way that only mother’s look at their children.

My mom was a true Filipina mom. She took zero shit and her love was shown through providing and doing. She was also a single mom. So, growing up, I always wondered about her love for me. I always felt as if I needed to prove myself to her. I wanted her to be proud of me. Now, I know, she always was.

During the year’s she was sick, there were a couple times that she gently placed her hands on my cheeks and looked into my eyes. The first time, she said, “I need you to be strong.” and she was literally fighting for her life, and the second time, she said, “I am trying.” This was literally a couple of month’s before she passed. Both times, I felt as if she could feel the deep sadness and worry that I was feeling. I could also tell, that she was trying to comfort me. And, for the first time, I feel she was conveying back to me, the unconditional love she felt every single time she looked in my eyes.

I know, it is only day #2 and I’m getting all weird on you guys, but like i said in my very first post, I am choosing not to care about what other’s think of me. I am conveying my truth, and if you’ve made it this far, thank you.

This experience carries all the energy of synchronism, because this morning, I pulled the, “Departed Loved One’s” card. And while that may represent all whom I’ve lost, that I’ve loved, I know it’s her. I feel like she’s playing with me. And I don’t mean in a manipulative way, I feel like she’s watching me take ownership of my life and guiding me in these little ways. It’ s like she’s waiting for quiet moment’s of receptivity to let me know she’s here with me, always.

And I think on an even deeper level, I am asking. I am asking for her presence and protection. I realize that this is a deeply spiritual post, but man, since I’ve lost my mom, my life has not been the same. And, I mean that in the best of ways. I am unraveling myself in a way I never have before. I am healing the relationship I have with myself, and I am standing strongly with myself.

Now that I think about it, I did a collective card pull for my Youtube Channel and it was about taking the journey of healing the relationship you have with yourself. To become more observant of how you treat yourself. It was also a message for those who have already begun healing their relationship with self, and are grieving the old version of who they are. And the thing is, I am only stringing this all together right now, as I write this. The universe work’s in such interesting way’s.

Now, I believe the deep work for me moving forward, is perceiving myself in the unconditionally loving way, that my mom has perceived me through her whole entire existence. For as long as I can remember, I have been so hard on myself. I have never shown myself unconditional love and appreciation. I always leveraged my worth against the opinion’s of other’s, and against what I wasn’t doing. I realize that to live an intuitive life, you must have a loving, accepting, honoring, trusting, and joyful relationship with yourself. Otherwise, you have no real access to your God given intuitive gifts. You must be clear in who you are, to allow real love to flow to you and through you.

To conclude tonight’s reflection, I will leave you with this thought of love -

I pray that you begin to truly see your magnificent self. I pray that you look in the mirror and develop the capacity to feel unconditional love for who you are, and who you are becoming.

Till the morning.

Love Always,

Ariel