Day #44
Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life
Wednesday, July 23, 2025 8:44am
Dear Reader,
There is literally 3 more sleeps, until my Eyelash Extension Workshop and I am filled with so many different emotion’s. Mostly, excitement. If I am being truly honest, though, sometimes, that excitement turns into fear. Everything has worked out in perfect alignment with what is about to unfold and, I am so grateful. There were a few things I felt I could have done better with, in relationship to preparation, but I also know, I was just being hard on myself. Not everything is going to work out perfect, but it will work out as it should. The pressure of putting up this workshop, has aligned me with my deep faith. Perhaps, that is the true lesson that is being offered as I begin to cross this threshold.
I do acknowledge, that I often create criss in order to hold tightly to my faith. I have repeated the cycle of taking myself to the very edge and then falling into the abyss because I have no other choice, but to trust that I have wings. I have had to sit with that reflection today. I have had to ask myself, “Does it need to be this way?” I realize, it does not. I have a deep, limiting belief that in order for things to come together, they have to fall apart in the most chaotic way. I have a limiting belief that it is not possible to fly unless you fall and hit the ground, first. These belief’s are so deeply ingrained in my psyche, that I can’t quite figure out what it looks like to not have to bring myself to the edge and fall on my face. I do not know what it looks like to stop the car at the top of the hill, instead of waiting at the bottom.
Perhaps, it is the self-judgment that create’s the true suffering here.
I haven’t quite found clarity on this, but I do acknowledge that the mechanism that need’s to be changed is listening to myself. Trusting the step’s that I am inspired to. I have this continued habit of sitting with my inspiration’s and not acting on them. It will reverberate in my head over and over. When I finally take the action, some of it has fallen apart. So, not only am I having to take the step and create, I am having to pick up what fell and fix it. I realize as I write this, that I am truly the creator of my own chaos.
I have always been an intuitive dreamer. Since I was a kid, I would set goal’s for myself and march right into them. And, I was always so confident that I could close the gap between where I was, to where I wanted to be. I dabbled in so many different thing’s. I deeply committed to a few. I was led by both survival and enjoyment. Fear and love. I understand why I felt so push and pulled in so many different direction’s. I was afraid to make decision’s from enjoyment, because I was taught enjoyment needed to be earned and, that love did not pay the bills. We truly become what we believe. I am willing to change that now, though. Perhaps, that’s all that matters. I walked through the fire to have the experience, so that I could strongly make a different choice. And perhaps, I walked through the fire, so that I could inspire and help other’s to do the same.
Either way, I am going to continue developing the skill of trusting myself. Despite the criticism and opinion’s of other’s. I want to live a life that is filled with all the thing’s I’ve had the courage to try. Not, a life that is filled with, “What if’s?” Otherwise, what’s the point? What if life is more about the experience, than it is about getting it right?
Perhaps, that is the only truth about humanity and being a human. Heaven and hell exist’s and begin’s within us. Not oustide of us. We perceive and create based on what bubbles up within us. Perhaps, it’s about choosing heaven, more often than hell. Perhaps, it’s the duality of heaven and hell that create the human experience.
The entire universe and all of nature, has the capacity to hold the duality of heaven and hell, good and bad, positive and negative, without falling apart. It continue’s to grow and evolve and become more. In fact, it exist’s because of this duality. So, what does that say about us? What can we learn from the most powerful and ancient energies that already exist around us? Perhaps, this is a time for more integration verses separation.
Simply put, I am going to put down the belief of life needing to be hard, in order for it to be good. I choose to pick up the belief that life is mostly good, and sometimes, it is hard. I choose to pick up the belief that challenge is more of a threshold of clarity, than a fire that I need to walk through. It is just an indicator, that something in my life is wanting to change, grow and evolve. It is not personal and, it does not need to define who I am. It is, just life calling me forth over and over again. I want to be person, who answer’s the call and relaxes into the fluidity of life.
With that said, I am committing to my dream’s in a way I never have. I pray, you do, too. I pray, you allow yourself the opportunity to follow your inspiration’s and intuitive download’s. I pray, you have the courage to let go of needing to be accepted by other’s and instead, choose to love and accept yourself, above all. That is the medicine needed in order to step toward’s your highest potential. I pray, you value your life and this unique experience enough to march into everything that light’s your soul on fire. I pray, you become receptive enough to allow the unknown, to become known and, the unseen to become seen. No matter how uncomfortable it may feel.
This is the type of life I pray you allow yourself to live.
I pray, for all of us to live.
Otherwise, what’s the point?
Till tomorrow.
Love Always,
Ariel