Day #53
Letter’s of a Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life
August 1, 2025 8:32pm
Dear Reader,
Today, was another big day of truth. It’s been so interesting to come off a high, where I felt the light within me truly shining and then, have that light shine on the aspect’s of my life that need to catch up. The thing’s that still need to become aligned in order for me to move forward and build a stronger, more solid foundation. Before, I would have seen this as disheartening, and although I feel frustration, I find clarity. I find clarity on what it is that I want to change. I find clarity on my process of rooting and anchoring that I have been feeling myself being called to. I have found a path in my life that feel’s fulfilling and purposeful and, I want to begin narrowing my focus in that direction.
I have realized how much I actually love process. I find it one of the most sacred aspect’s of life. Perhaps, that’s really what life is - a continued, growing and evolving process. I realized that although I heard so many people say, “Enjoy the journey.” Or, “It’s about the journey.” I didn’t internalize it. I understood it, but never experienced it. Because my survival mode couldn’t do the journey. The journey meant delay. It meant not getting what i wanted. It meant forcing the gap to close. Through this intuitive journey, I have discovered that my authentic self, actually love’s the process. Especially, the process of bringing my idea’s to life. I love to teach and I love to have experience’s. And experience, is just a process of moment’s. I have learned so much about myself.
Today, I even realized a cycle that I was perpetuating with my daughter. It is one that I was indoctrined into as a child by my mother. It was fear, disguised as love. It was survival mode disguised as love. And I, found myself doing the same to my daughter. And, I wrapped it in love. In my head, as long as it wasn’t what my mom did, it wasn’t the same. But that’s the tricky thing about these cycle’s. They don’t all look the same, but they produce the same emotion’s, that trigger certain cycle’s that exist within families. So, it’s definitely been a day of more truth, more learning and more clarifying who I want to be.
Sometimes I wonder, is this ever going to end? But, I am choosing to trust this process. I am choosing, to even, become excited within it. This work makes me feel alive. It makes me feel like there is so much beauty and depth in living. I am not always going to be seeing and fixing. Other times, I will be anchoring and building. It just depend’s on the season. And I am learning to sit within it and call forward whatever needs to happen in that time.
Self-observation is the beginning of the most vulnerable, honest and open journey, you will ever find yourself on. . It is where you begin to see yourself. It is where you begin to find more of yourself. It is the beginning of finding clarity on what it is you want to build in your life. It prompt’s deep and transformational question’s. Pay attention to your thought cycle’s. Pay attention to your automatic, unconscious reaction’s. Be present with yourself in a way, you never have before.
Till tomorrow.
Love Always,
Ariel