Day #58
Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life
Wednesday, August 6, 2025 8:03pm
Dear Reader,
Today, I carried a more solid and focused frequency into my studio. It seem’s the more I sit with this steady, heart-centered way of being, the more I notice how different my desires become. I find myself wanting to slow thing’s down and create from more depth.
I was going through idea’s in my head about how I wanted to market my project’s. I even had ChatGPT put together a marketing template for me to use for brainstorming and putting together reel’s or post’s for social media. And, I realized that I’ve approached marketing from a hustler mentality. I wasn’t clear on the client’s I wanted to attract, I was just focused on wanting to make money. And you know what the type of mentality does? It kill’s creativity. While some experiences in life, require a hustle mentality. I don’t believe it was meant to sustain you, forever. It’s a tool, but isn’t meant to be used forever. But, that was me. I brought that mentality into everything i did and it’s no wonder I found myself overworked and burnt out. I found myself regretting moment’s that I had missed with people I’ve loved the most. Hustle mode was survival mode for me and I don’t need to be in that state of mind anymore
I have given myself the opportunity to be able to evolve my business from true creativity. Not, from a need to survive. I have a solid clientele. I am making money. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. Everything that I need to survive exist’s in my reality. So, to teach myself to slow down and dive deeper into aspect’s of my business has proven to be a little bit of a challenge. To teach myself that it is safe to create and grow my business without the fear of losing has been a journey. I have been in hustle mode my whole life, it’s been tough to figure out what it look’s like or feel’s like to create in a safe environment. I am surprising myself at how much I’m willing to slow down and define my intention’s before I even attempt to act on it.
I’m not where I want to be yet. My body hasn’t fully integrated the belief that I am safe. Peace feel’s safe, more often than not now. So, we’re making process. And honestly, it’s the realization of my own progress that keeps me going. I used to identify so deeply with my own insecurities and fears. I thought they all defined me and I believed they were true. It felt so real in my body, that I would act upon it. I would brace for perceived impact. At the same time, I pretended I was brave, strong and ruthless. The truth was, I was none of those thing’s. And all I really wanted, was to feel safe and at peace in my life. The issue was, I was looking for it outside of myself.
So honestly, to experience safety more often than not, to feel peace, more often than not, has been a blessing. I have been courageous enough to look at my own fears and insecurities and understand what they feel like in my body. I have been able to translate them into words and truly see the lies I’ve been telling myself all of these years. I have been able to understand where they came from. It was this truth serum that made me realize that fears and insecurities do not have to be mine. It doesn’t matter whether or not they were given to me as a child or, if I had conditioned myself into this way of being. The truth is, I don’t have to hold them, if I don’t want to. I don’t have to hold them if they burn my hands. I can simply, let them go.
And while the process of letting go can be challenging, the simple, cyclical act of noticing and letting go is the momentum that change needs. It’s the momentum that you need to begin moving forward on a different path. The work is both repetitive and unfamiliar, but it is what the highest version of yourself needs. This self-work is sacred. Treat it as such.
Till the morning.
Love Always,
Ariel