Day #60
Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life
Friday, August 8, 2025 8:55pm
Today, was an abundant day and, I am on course to making my weekly business goal. Life feel’s good right now. Today, I feel close to my goals and I feel it’s largely because they seem to become more clear as each day comes. A few of my student’s are flourishing and, we haven’t even officially started my certification course. It just bring’s so much joy to my heart to know that I have impacted other’s. That I have opened a doorway of possibility for them to see a future potential. It inspires me to align with my own, even more. It feel’s like my goal’s are more grounded because they are more balanced. It feel’s like a grounded vision, verses something that is more fleeting and dream like. I know what I am bringing to life is going to manifest and, I know it’s probably going to manifest in a way that I least expect.
I’ve made it all the way to day #60 of this entire series and I feel like so much of my perspective have changed. I have become more clear about my goal’s. I have had a couple of key experience’s that helped me find that clarity and helped me see more of myself in a way I never have before. This has been one hell of a learning journey and, I’m not done yet! I can only imagine what the next 30 day’s will be like, feel like, look like. I’m quite excited and even more, I don’t feel like I am tip toeing anymore. It’s like, I’ve called out all the thing’s that has been holding me back and now, I’m ready to continue to come face to face with those moment’s and choose different. Choose different until it becomes second nature to me. I feel less inclined to hold tightly and instead, allow myself to let go of whatever isn’t aligning. I’m done compromising.
Tomorrow is, what would have been, my mom’s 68th birthday. And, I just keep thinking about the day she passed and how, I could feel it. Intuitively, I could tell those were my last moment’s with her. There were all kinds of synchronicities that were happening that entire day. That night, I thought about staying with her, but I decided to take my daughter home. The truth is, I was scared. I was scared to be with her because I knew she was going to leave us soon. So I made an excuse that I needed to take my daughter home. I mean, I did, but I could have always come back. It was that early morning that I got the phone call that she was unresponsive and I thought, my intuition was right. I’ve been thinking alot about that day and how, I refused to listen to my own intuition because I was scared. I refuse to let that be my life anymore. I refuse to let myself miss important moment’s because of fear. I will listen, with my whole heart from this point forward.
Honestly, that’s been a big thing on my heart today. I had to experience something I did not prefer, in order to find clarification on what I do prefer. What I prefer is, a deep unwavering trust in my intuition. What I prefer is, to not just know, but to act with conviction from that knowing. That’s what my life has been missing - conviction. My trauma convinced me that being passive would keep me safe. That it would allow me to avoid the feeling’s of disappointment, failure and judgment. There is a difference between receptive and passivity. Receptivity is knowing what I want and, allowing myself to be open to the different ways it could come to fruition. Passivity, is not being clear about what you want. There is no anchor when you are passive. There is no intention or clarity. I confused passivity with freedom and that is why, alot of my life felt fleeting. I didn’t ground my vision’s. I forced them. Which allowed me to only hold them up for a second, before they came crashing down again.
I am not giving up, though. I am allowing myself the opportunity of refinement. I am learning to hold the vision of what I want, while also, anchoring it into the foundation I create in the present. My goal is to create a foundation in which my dream’s can flourish upon. I want to create a system that nourishes growth and evolution. I have attempted these thing’s before, but never felt connected to it’s outcome. I didn’t understand what type of value is experienced within process. But, I get it now and I am willing to sit with this entire process. Building both roots and branches. I get to create my own life and, I get to create it however I want to. And I am going to continue doing just that. From a place of intuition and trust.
Till tomorrow.
Love Always,
Ariel