Day #63

Letter’s of Surrender: 90 Day’s of Living An Intuitive Life

Monday, August 11, 2025 8:49pm

Dear Reader,

Tonight, I am sitting with another round of realizing possibility and freedom. Realizing how my belief’s may have been holding me back from seeing a possible future for myself. My trauma has created a hyper-independence within me, that receiving is uncomfortable and also, allowing someone else to possibly take care of me, help me or support me, feel’s so uncomfortable. Today, I am looking in the mirror at someone who wasn’t just a people-pleaser, but someone who couldn’t receive. Someone who believed that she had to do everything for herself and her family. Someone who believed that delegating duties was not a good idea, because if I’m not the one who’s doing it, then it’s not good enough. It is making me wonder, if the dreams that I have, come from my true self or, from my hyper-vigilant and hyper-independent self? Is the driving force beneath my dream’s one of fear? One that is rooted in survival verses faith.

After all of this, I am still unraveling. Still peeling away layer’s of protection that I’ve placed upon my authentic self, to shield myself from possible pain. This journey, continues to get more interesting as I discover more about me and all the thing’s I’ve done to keep myself safe. I have to say, it is more than just interesting, it is this paradox of both discomfort and excitement. It is uncomfortable because it places the question, “Who am I?” at the forefront of my thought’s, again. It is exciting because what if formulating new belief’s surrounding faith, support, trust and unconditional love allow’s me will manifest a future that looks completely different than I ever imagined? What if aligning with a new perspective, open’s doors to new adventure’s and way’s of being?

Just something to contemplate upon.

Till tomorrow.

Love Always,

Ariel